1. First of all, you can learn what you like in a safe, non-judgmental environment. And if you’re apprehensive about asking your partner for some niche thing you’ve been considering (e.g. bondage, being called Ralph, et cetera), you can watch it first from the comfort of your own bed, solo. In your pajamas. With an Origins face mask on. :D
2. But your porn-watching life doesn't have to overlap with your actual séx life. You might discover, to your surprise, that you are into watching a certain séx act (like a threésome) but not into doing it yourself. You don't have to! Maybe someday you will want to? But for now you have opened another door into your own séxuality by finding a new thing that gets you off — even if you're just watching it.
3. See what "normal" séx looks like and feel less awkward. Many women’s only exposure to pórn are those cheesy $29.99 Jenna Jameson videos that have nothing to do with IRL P-in-va-G: No awkwardness, no weird noises, no uncomfortable cóndom fumbling, no screaming the name of your 7th grade physics teacher by accident, et cetera. But there is a whole range of porn now, fetish pórn (NSFW!), you name it. Feminist pórn goes out of its way to feature real female órgasms, not the fake móaning and screaming you might associate with mainstream pórn.
4. Realize that your body is normal by watching other real non-pórn star human women banging. Some of us — used to be Not Okay With Our Vjj.
Once you watch a few clips of this you realize that all human beings/váginas are their own unique snowflakes. And also that your vágina is actually pretty cool.
5. Be louder during séx. And not for him. Hearing yourself lose your shit like that is a turn-on. (Kind of weird, but true.)
6. Step outside your missi onary-position comfort zone. Sure, you don’t have to be flipped over every two seconds like a pancake on a griddle. But the variety of angles of penétration you often find in a medium-length pórn clip can blow your mind if you are used to your regular blówjób-then-girl-on-top-then-missiónary (then coffee ice cream in béd and The Daily Show) routine.
7. Realize and be able to articulate the difference between hard and fast, et al. You know that thing where you tell a guy that you like something, and he immediately starts doing it harder and faster, and you’re like, “I literally just said I liked it exactly the way you were doing it?" It is easier to notice this when you are watching it — and then when it happens to you, you'll be aware enough to point it out to your partner.
Guys can be sort of extreme in béd sometimes, because it will generally end the same way for them (like this: :D). Whereas we are more like :), :/, :}, :|, , *_~, #_#, and then hopefully :D.
8. There’s really no good girl/bad girl dichotomy unless you want one. Mainstream, produced pórn has passed on the obsession of “good girl being bad” or “good girl being spánked” or “good girl being Pokemon” or whatever — which implies that women are their most desirable when they’re non-séxual beings who are suddenly hyper-séxual (but non-threateningly) (for one guy) (within reason) in béd. The more you watch normal women doing it, making normal jokes, having normal, non-actress séx, the more you — and your partner — understand that women are just as séxual as men are.
9. You'll find new ways (and toys to use) to másturbate. Why yes, some everyday, normal girls do go home and use an enormous flashing cupcake-shaped vibrátor, or what have you. It's like the less-dull version of reading séx toy product reviews.
10. And being single doesn't have to doom you to a boring séx life. It may sound obvious, but you don't need a guy (or many guys) to have an exciting séxual life. Not only is it safe, but watching pórn adds variety. There are tons of tools for daily órgasms at your disposal.
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